OT: Need a laugh??
- Thread starter Woodstock
- Start date
Ever wonder what the number one song was the day you were born?
http://www.joshhosler.biz/NumberOneInHistory/SelectMonth.htm)
When I was born, "Do Wah Diddy Diddy" by Manfred Man was #1.
:LOL:
http://www.joshhosler.biz/NumberOneInHistory/SelectMonth.htm)
When I was born, "Do Wah Diddy Diddy" by Manfred Man was #1.
:LOL:
tippMANn98
Has been struck by the ban stick
HITLER HAS BEEN REINCARNATED AS A CAT!!!!!!
I loved it!
I loved it!
tippMANn98
Has been struck by the ban stick
I love rock and roll!!! How about anybody else???
tippMANn98
Has been struck by the ban stick
rebekwl
Active Member
This is one of my favorites:
FALL CLASSES FOR MEN
REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED BY Monday, October 23, 2007
NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL
OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM.
Classes begin Monday, October 30, 2007
Class 1
How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays --- Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.
Class 2
The Toilet Paper Roll --- Does It Change Itself?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.
Class 3
Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub? --- Group Practice.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor --- Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturday at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.
Class 5
After Dinner Dishes --- Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?
Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM ..
Class 6
Loss Of Identity --- Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other.
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM .
Class 7
Learning How To Find Things --- Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming
Open Forum
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours
Class 8
Health Watch --- Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.
Graphics and Audio Tapes
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 9
Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost --- Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesday at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.
Class 10
Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday noon , 2 hours.
Class 11
Learning to Live --- Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
Online Classes and role-playing .
Tuesday at 7:00 PM, location to be determined.
Class 12
How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion
Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours ! Beginning at 7 :00 PM .
Class 13
How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy --- Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late. Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 14
The Stove/Oven --- What It Is and How It Is Used.
Live Demonstration.
Tuesday at 6:00 PM, location to be determined
Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors. Send this to all the guys that you think can stand the heat, and to all the ladies for the best chuckle of their day!
I was reminiscing through some old threads and found this one that Steve (sasquatch) posted.
I took on a life of it's own... I haven't laughed so hard in a long time!
http://www.reefsanctuary.com/forums/equipment/16473-bio-balls-really-why.html
:LOL:
I took on a life of it's own... I haven't laughed so hard in a long time!
http://www.reefsanctuary.com/forums/equipment/16473-bio-balls-really-why.html
:LOL:
PEMfish
Well-Known Member
A man and his wife were invited to a swanky masked Halloween Party. The wife got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone. He, being a devoted husband, protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed, and there was no need of his good time being spoiled by not going. So he took his costume and away he went.
The wife, after sleeping soundly for one hour, awakened without pain, and as it was still early, she decided to go to the party after all. In as much as her husband did not know what her costume was, she thought she would have some fun by watching her husband to see how he acted when she was not with him.
She joined the party and soon spotted her husband cavorting around on the dance floor, dancing with every nice girl he could, and copping a little feel here and a little kiss there. His wife moved on up to him and being a rather seductive woman herself, he left his partner high and dry and devoted his time to the new stuff that had just arrived.
She let him go as far as he wished; naturally, since he was her husband. Finally he whispered a little proposition in her ear and she agreed, so off they went off and had a little romp.
Just before unmasking at midnight, she slipped away and went home and put the costume away and got into bed, wondering what kind of explanation he would make for his behavior. She was sitting up reading when he came in and asked what kind of a time he had.
He said, "Oh, the same old thing. You know I never have a good time when you're not there."
Then she asked, "Did you dance much?"
He replied, "I'll tell you, I never even danced one dance. When I got there, I met Pete, Bill Brown and some other guys, so we went into the den and played poker all evening. "
And shes getting exited about busting him...
"But I'll tell you... the guy I loaned my costume to sure had a real good time!"
The wife, after sleeping soundly for one hour, awakened without pain, and as it was still early, she decided to go to the party after all. In as much as her husband did not know what her costume was, she thought she would have some fun by watching her husband to see how he acted when she was not with him.
She joined the party and soon spotted her husband cavorting around on the dance floor, dancing with every nice girl he could, and copping a little feel here and a little kiss there. His wife moved on up to him and being a rather seductive woman herself, he left his partner high and dry and devoted his time to the new stuff that had just arrived.
She let him go as far as he wished; naturally, since he was her husband. Finally he whispered a little proposition in her ear and she agreed, so off they went off and had a little romp.
Just before unmasking at midnight, she slipped away and went home and put the costume away and got into bed, wondering what kind of explanation he would make for his behavior. She was sitting up reading when he came in and asked what kind of a time he had.
He said, "Oh, the same old thing. You know I never have a good time when you're not there."
Then she asked, "Did you dance much?"
He replied, "I'll tell you, I never even danced one dance. When I got there, I met Pete, Bill Brown and some other guys, so we went into the den and played poker all evening. "
And shes getting exited about busting him...
"But I'll tell you... the guy I loaned my costume to sure had a real good time!"
Techno-Vicki
Well-Known Member
When Dan found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed a woman to enjoy it with.
So one evening, he went to a singles bar where he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.
Her natural beauty took his breath away. "I may look like just an ordinary man," he said as he walked up to her, "but in just a week or two, my father will die, and I'll inherit 20 million dollars."
Impressed, the woman went home with him that evening and, three days later, she became his stepmother.
So one evening, he went to a singles bar where he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.
Her natural beauty took his breath away. "I may look like just an ordinary man," he said as he walked up to her, "but in just a week or two, my father will die, and I'll inherit 20 million dollars."
Impressed, the woman went home with him that evening and, three days later, she became his stepmother.
January
Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.
February
Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels.....
Helllloooo!!!.......bottles won't fit in printer !!!
March
Got really excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months.....Box said '2-4 years!'
April
Trapped on escalator for hours .. Power went out!!!
May
Tried to make Kool-Aid.....wrong instructions.....8 cups of
Water won't fit into those little packets!!!
June
Tried to go water skiing.......couldn't find a lake with a slope.
July
Lost breast stroke swimming competition......learned later,
The other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!!
August
Got locked out of my car in rain storm..
Car swamped because soft-top was open.
September
The capital of Californiais 'C'.....isn't it???
October
Hate M & M's.....they are so hard to peel.
November
Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days ... Instructions said 1 hour
Per pound and I weigh 108!!
December
Couldn't call 911 .... 'duh'....there's no 'eleven'
Button on the stupid phone!!!
Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.
February
Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels.....
Helllloooo!!!.......bottles won't fit in printer !!!
March
Got really excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months.....Box said '2-4 years!'
April
Trapped on escalator for hours .. Power went out!!!
May
Tried to make Kool-Aid.....wrong instructions.....8 cups of
Water won't fit into those little packets!!!
June
Tried to go water skiing.......couldn't find a lake with a slope.
July
Lost breast stroke swimming competition......learned later,
The other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!!
August
Got locked out of my car in rain storm..
Car swamped because soft-top was open.
September
The capital of Californiais 'C'.....isn't it???
October
Hate M & M's.....they are so hard to peel.
November
Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days ... Instructions said 1 hour
Per pound and I weigh 108!!
December
Couldn't call 911 .... 'duh'....there's no 'eleven'
Button on the stupid phone!!!
THE BEST BLONDE JOKE OF THE YEAR - SO FAR
A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blond
female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the
mailbox.
She opened it then slammed it shut & stormed back in the house.
A little later she came out of her house again went to the mail box.
And again, opened it, slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the
house she went.
As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came out.
Again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.
Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, 'Is something wrong?'
To which she replied, 'There certainly is!'
(Are you ready? This is a beauty...)
My stupid computer keeps saying, 'YOU'VE GOT MAIL!'
A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blond
female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the
mailbox.
She opened it then slammed it shut & stormed back in the house.
A little later she came out of her house again went to the mail box.
And again, opened it, slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the
house she went.
As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came out.
Again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.
Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, 'Is something wrong?'
To which she replied, 'There certainly is!'
(Are you ready? This is a beauty...)
My stupid computer keeps saying, 'YOU'VE GOT MAIL!'