I will tell you about a Jiboni. A few years ago I went to an optometrist, or optomoligist, I forget, but it is the one who tests your eyes for glasses so I guess they have to go to about as much schooling as a guy who takes up the hem on a Supermodels dress.
But I don't really know.
Anyway when I would look to the side, I would see double. That was fine if I was looking at a beautiful woman, because I would see two of them, but if I was trying to change lanes, I would see two tractor trailers coming at me and I wouldn't know which one to get out of the way of.
So this "Jiboni" is examining me and he notices this so he turns to my wife and says. Your husband has a Brain Tumor.
This coming from an eye glass guy.
My wife immediately goes into panic mode and gets the horrors calling my life insurance company and sizing me up for a suit.
So he says I have to go for an MRI of my head.
I go for the MRI, then a brain tumor test where you look into this black box and you have to push the button when you see little Supermodels running across the screen like comets.
I did all that and what do you know, No brain tumor (Thank God)
Not that I got upset anyway because like I said he was "Jiboni" eye glass guy.
It turned out to be a slight weak muscle in my eye and I needed eye muscle surgery.
So I go to Manhattan to the Eye hospital and this normally only happens to little children so the doctor comes in with one of those flashlights on his head with a "Big Bird puppet" hanging on to it.
I go in for the surgery and of course I have to get naked, I ask if they are sure they are working on the right end of me and they assured me they were.
So they wheel me into the operating room and stick me on this aluminum table which I think they just removed a case of Bud Light from because it was ice cold. Then the nurse sticks me with the IV which she just took out of the same place they stored the Bud Light so I am shaking because I am freezing as there are parts of me that are not used to being on such a cold table.
(I know I told this story on here but I am not sure if it was last week or last decade so if I just posted it, go and watch Oprah, I think she is giving away cat chow to homeless bowlegged cats on welfare)
The nurse (who of course has her face covered with the surgical mask) sees me shivering and she comes over to hold my hand. She says "Oh Honey, don't be nervous, this is a simple procedure"
I said "Nervous!" how could I be nervous? I am laying on a table naked, surrounded by 7 beautiful Babes!
They all laughed so hard they almost lost their masks.
Then the Dr. comes in and he says, "you have him on the table backwards" which didn't give me a lot of confidence. Now I was shaking because I figured they would mistakenly remove my gall bladder through my nose or some other "important" part that I may need.