A couple of weeks ago I went to the VA to see if I have PTSD. I found out today, that I do. OK, no big deal, I got out of Nam fifty years ago and now they tell me this.
They interviewed me for 3 hours and it came from this battle I was in that I forgot most of thankfully.
But anyway:
Last week my Daughter says to me, Hey dad, what is that mark on your eye lid? I had no idea, probably magic marker, so my wife looked at it and said. OMG, you always had a small spot there, but now it is half the size of your eyelid. She asked me if I noticed it. I said, you can only see it when my eye is closed and I don't see much with my eyes closed, so, No, I never saw it.
So of course she tells me I have to go to the dermatologist. I agreed (the Dermatologist is almost a Supermodel and I like her)
I go to the skin Doc and am waiting in the waiting room when this girl comes in and she keeps looking at her watch. She asks me if I parked on the street, I said yes, Why? She says, do you know it's only an hour parking? I said yes, but you just got here two minutes ago. She tells me, I know but I am paranoid of getting a ticket so should I move my car? Like I care right!
So she leaves to move her car, I guess she moves it every two minutes so she doesn't get a ticket. I think she has PTSD
They call my name and I get to see the Doc and her nurse. She looks at my eyelid and says she is going to take a biopsy. I said, a What! I know what a biopsy is but of all my body parts, my eye lid is way down on the bottom of the list of places where I want someone taking a biopsy of.
I asked her what she thought it was? She said it looks like a benign "Quisymoto Flounder". At least it sounded like that. I figured that must be like a fluke and wanted to ask if she could just give my head a fresh water dip or rub some Prizapro on it.
Before I could ask, she takes this needle and says, I am going to give you this needle to numb the pain for the biopsy. I said, what are you going to give me to numb the pain of the needle in my eye?
With that, she is sticking this needle in my eyelid and telling me not to open my eye. Like, you even had to tell me that! She said, this may be a "little" uncomfortable. I imagine she pulled it off my eye a little to do this.
Then she tells the nurse to get her a sharp scissors. I said, wait a minute, I thought you took the biopsy with the needle, what's with the scissors? She has to cut a little piece out of my eye lid. Oh great, I am really looking forward to this!
The nurse tells the Doc, we don't have any sharp scissors. OK, I am out of here. She tells me to calm down, it's not a big deal. I told her, it would not be a big deal if she wanted to use a scissors on her own eye lid. I told her that yesterday it wasn't a big deal, but today I have PTSD so I have an excuse.
They find this scissors and tell me "Don't Move". At that point I thought of doing sit ups or leg presses but I figured it wouldn't be prudent at that time.
She holds my head and snips a piece off my eye lid. Like "Ouch", Now tell me that doesn't sound uncomfortable. It feels like it sounds. I asked her if instead of Novocain she put coffee in that needle to numb the pain.
So now I am home looking at my fish with one eye because the other one feels like an urchin is doing the Macarana in it
