OT: Good for a chuckle

ScottT1980 · 01-12-2005, 11:54 PM

Very off-topic, but clever indeed:

ANNUAL NEOLOGISM CONTEST

Once again, The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.

And the winners are:
1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.

2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.

3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.

6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.

7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.

14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die, your Soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

mps9506 · 01-13-2005, 12:08 AM

Travis · 01-13-2005, 12:41 AM

Those are great! Thanks.

Gina · 01-13-2005, 06:25 AM

Thanks Scott! That was good for a laugh first thing in the morning!

Witfull · 01-13-2005, 07:41 AM

/me raises my coffee cup,,,and no i do not cough into it...lol

very funny indeed!

The Camel · 01-13-2005, 08:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ScottT1980

Very off-topic, but clever indeed:
7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.

10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.

15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die, your Soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

Suffer from 7 and 8, am a convert to 15 & have a very different interpretation of 16 (but not for this forum, pm me if you want to know & dont offend easily

)

Woodstock · 01-13-2005, 09:26 AM

Good ones Scott!!

01-12-2005, 11:54 PM	#1 (permalink)
ScottT1980 Reef Lobster Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Raleigh, NC Posts: 1,484 View Gallery Karma Komment	OT: Good for a chuckle Very off-topic, but clever indeed: ANNUAL NEOLOGISM CONTEST Once again, The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words. And the winners are: 1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs. 2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained. 3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach. 4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk. 5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent. 6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown. 7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp. 8. Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavored mouthwash. 9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller. 10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline. 11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam. 12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists. 13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist. 14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms. 15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die, your Soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there. 16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men. __________________ My Tank

01-13-2005, 12:08 AM	#2 (permalink)
mps9506 Totally stoked dude Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Wilmington, NC Posts: 7,518 View Gallery Karma Komment	__________________ Mike "The Bandwith Bandit" Help Build Reefpedia Premium Membership Available! Support Reef Sanctuary Sponsors

01-13-2005, 06:25 AM	#4 (permalink)
Gina Moderator Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Indiana Posts: 8,836 View Gallery Karma Komment	Thanks Scott! That was good for a laugh first thing in the morning! __________________ Gina and Mark's 75 Visit Our Sponsors Gina's Cube Gina

01-13-2005, 09:26 AM	#7 (permalink)
Woodstock The Wand Geek was here. ;) Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: North Carolina Posts: 24,023 View Gallery Karma Komment Add yours!	Good ones Scott!! __________________ ~Doni Marie~ *GOT ICH???* 120 Reef Chronicle ~ *Breeding Picasso Clownfish~* *Massive 300 gal growout~* *My Anemone & Picasso Tank ~* *Picasso & Snowcasso for sale~* "Energy and persistence conquer all things." Benjamin Franklin __________________________________________________ ______________________________________________

01-13-2005, 12:41 AM	#3 (permalink)
Travis Smilie Bartender Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Dallas, TX Posts: 6,724 View Gallery Karma Komment Add yours!	Those are great! Thanks.

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