OT: Women of RS Thread - Page 55

Craig Manoukian · 05-23-2008, 01:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rlcline76

A phone call at 6 AM your time to make sure I wasn't upset with you...TYPICAL MALE RESPONSE to my bs. lmao

rlcline76 · 05-23-2008, 01:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Craig Manoukian

It's going to be like that, eh?

Wait a minute. I got a string of smilies...let's see if you can figure out what I am saying. Might want to be listening to "Urgent" while putting it together...

Craig Manoukian · 05-23-2008, 04:32 PM

Very clever!

How are the rest of the women of RS today?

nikkipigtails · 05-23-2008, 04:33 PM

Hey ladies, did your kids go throug a phase where they had to be held ALL THE TIME? I used to be able to put Olivia down for 15 min at a time before she got board but all of a sudden, she has to be held. She's not even happy if I get down there and play with her. She starts screaming bloody murder. And, of course, it doesn't work for Tommy. She laughs and smiles at him as long as I hold her but once I hand her over, she screams. Do you think she's starting to get separation anxiety? She won't even nap without me holding her and she's started waking up at night. Our 83 yo neighbor who's hard of hearing even told me yesterday that she could hear Olivia screaming and she wanted to know why.

rlcline76 · 05-23-2008, 04:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nikkipigtails

Hey ladies, did your kids go throug a phase where they had to be held ALL THE TIME? I used to be able to put Olivia down for 15 min at a time before she got board but all of a sudden, she has to be held. She's not even happy if I get down there and play with her. She starts screaming bloody murder. And, of course, it doesn't work for Tommy. She laughs and smiles at him as long as I hold her but once I hand her over, she screams. Do you think she's starting to get separation anxiety? She won't even nap without me holding her and she's started waking up at night. Our 83 yo neighbor who's hard of hearing even told me yesterday that she could hear Olivia screaming and she wanted to know why.

In a word, no. Really, my kids run around here like their butts are on fire. No time to be held. But it is normal developmental crap.
I couldn't do it, though. I made sure from the beginning that my kids figured out how to put themselves down to sleep. I have a feeling it will take Olivia a lot of time. I think she has you trained...easy with a cutie like that! Me? It was always: Feed, let play until tired, kid in crib, pacifier, lights out and close the door. At 9 PM, I don't care what is going on, it is bedtime and I ain't staying up with ya unless you are sick and dying. This mamasita needs her rest.

Craig Manoukian · 05-23-2008, 05:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rlcline76

I think she has you trained...

Eek, outsmarted by a munchkin.

I've seen this happen to lots of folks!

nikkipigtails · 05-23-2008, 06:24 PM

Everyone says she has me trained or thinks that I run to her the second she starts to cry. The truth is, I know the difference between her fake cry and a real one and I don't pick her up unless it's a real one. It's been all real ones lately. She literally screams and tears start streaming down her face as soon as I put her down. She's always been extremely clingy to people in general now she's singled me out. It's about the time for her to go through separation anxiety I just didn't think it would be this bad.

You guys made me feel guilty for not having recent pics so I took some. At least I deleted the ones where she's screaming so when I'm old and look back at her pictures, I will only see her happy.

rlcline76 · 05-23-2008, 06:54 PM

Nikki, if you can handle all that without pulling out your hair...GREAT! I was never that person. I picked my kids up, but once it started getting on my nerves, real tears or not, I never felt bad about putting them in the crib and stepping out to the patio for a cup of coffee.

nikkipigtails · 05-23-2008, 07:03 PM

My patience grew exponentially when Olivia was born. Obviously I have more patience some days than others...right now though she's wearing a onezie that says "Pacify Me".

BarbMazz · 05-23-2008, 10:57 PM

Nikki, my twins never had a separation anxiety thing probably because they had each other. Sometimes I felt left out because they were so fascinated with one another.

Andrea, however, was the WORST! She would not stay with anyone but ME until she was about 3 and starting preschool. That included the holding thing that you describe. And not wanting to stay even with John.

My theory: she really needed me! So I indulged that because I wanted her to feel secure. Like you, the difference in cries is what did it for me. You can tell the "real" one!

Some things I think are important; your baby feeling secure is one of them! I don't buy into that teaching them to be separate when they're just infants. They can learn that gradually as they get older; when Andrea was 3 I could reason with her a bit. She cried when she went to preschool, but was able to get it under control within a week, probably because she was old enough to begin figuring it out for herself. How can an infant do that? I don't think they can!

I think some babies, for whatever reason, need that extra reassurance of mom close by for longer than others. I don't think it's a baby training you, or that she will be "spoiled", I think she probably needs you now for some undefined reason. I think you're right to hold her when she cries so.

That's my .02. Andrea doesn't need me to hold her anymore lol. She's pretty darn independent! I think I did something right along the way.

I know it's VERY HARD sometimes when they are so clingy. I thought I'd go nuts, and I had a few anxiety attacks! I had to give up racquetball, which I loced! I was a tournament level player, so that was hard. She had to come first, though, so I did what needed to be done until she felt secure with herself. In hindsight it was worth every second because I helped her be okay with herself by being close to her.

So I'd suggest you go with your gut and try to ignore it when people tell you to let her cry. You'll know when it's time to help her become more independent, and she may even do that all on her own.

Hang in there!

rlcline76 · 05-23-2008, 11:24 PM

No, I didn't teach my kids to be seperate when they were infants, but I did (and still do) expect them to try and put themselves down for bed. And especially in those days (which are about to come again) when my husband was away and it was just me, if I got to the point where I thought I was going to lose it, the kid was always better off in the crib. Those were usually the times when the kid was usually overtired or teething. I'm sorry, we have way too many overwhelmed parents around me, doesn't work out well for the kids. That will be going on with me and my kids. My kids do not suffer from detachment issues. Anyone who has ever had to talk to me on the phone has a pretty good idea that I seem to have a shadow or two.

I've known people who have indulged 24/7 in the things Nikki has done. Really depends on the parent and the baby. Like I said, if you have the time and patience, enjoy Olivia while she is little like she is. And like Barb said, don't mess with what everyone else has to say. You gotta do what you gotta do.

BarbMazz · 05-23-2008, 11:46 PM

Yep, Becky, each one is different.. that's why it's a good thing to follow your own guts.

kathywithbirds · 05-23-2008, 11:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nikkipigtails

Hey ladies, did your kids go throug a phase where they had to be held ALL THE TIME?

Try every other month. And she weighs like 35 lbs now.

I agree; everyone can offer advice but you're the only one who knows her kid and how both of you feel about separation issues, bedtime, clinging, crying, etc. My advice: take all advice and sort through the stuff you can use.

BarbMazz · 05-24-2008, 12:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rlcline76

No, I didn't teach my kids to be seperate when they were infants, but I did (and still do) expect them to try and put themselves down for bed. And especially in those days (which are about to come again) when my husband was away and it was just me, if I got to the point where I thought I was going to lose it, the kid was always better off in the crib. Those were usually the times when the kid was usually overtired or teething. I'm sorry, we have way too many overwhelmed parents around me, doesn't work out well for the kids. That will be going on with me and my kids. My kids do not suffer from detachment issues. Anyone who has ever had to talk to me on the phone has a pretty good idea that I seem to have a shadow or two.

I've known people who have indulged 24/7 in the things Nikki has done. Really depends on the parent and the baby. Like I said, if you have the time and patience, enjoy Olivia while she is little like she is. And like Barb said, don't mess with what everyone else has to say. You gotta do what you gotta do.

I hope you didn't think I was implying that I think you are doing the wrong thing with your kids! I sure wasn't.. just saying how my three were so different from each other, and what a PITA Andrea was as a baby. lol She'd just love to see what I post about her here.

And of course there were times when I had to put her down and walk away so I couldn't see or hear her. There were some rough moments for sure!

rlcline76 · 05-24-2008, 12:27 AM

No worries Barb!
There are plenty of wrong way to go about parenting...the right part is the hit or miss. WHAT I REALLY HATE are parenting books. I think I looked at those for the first year, and then realized that we don't all have textbook kids. You get a lot of that same advice from others.
On a somewhat good note...I've been working on my 4 yr old's reading skills. I picked up the kindergarten sight words from my brother, since he has a little one. The words he has trouble with I have him write, helps with his memory. I was a librarian in my former life, so we have plenty of books here. My kid is signed up for the summer reading program on Post again this year.
I could sure use a beer. lol

05-23-2008, 04:32 PM	#813 (permalink)
Craig Manoukian Regular Guy Moderator Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Marina Del Ray, CA Posts: 18,386 View Gallery Karma Komment Add yours!	Re: OT: Women of RS Thread Very clever! How are the rest of the women of RS today? __________________ Currently tankless. 20 Gallon mini reef with mated pair of Maroon Clowns given to Rougiem! 80 gallon reef given to Rougiem/Wooster HS.

05-23-2008, 04:33 PM	#814 (permalink)
nikkipigtails Golden Moray Join Date: Jan 2008 Posts: 2,985 View Gallery Karma Komment	Re: OT: Women of RS Thread Hey ladies, did your kids go throug a phase where they had to be held ALL THE TIME? I used to be able to put Olivia down for 15 min at a time before she got board but all of a sudden, she has to be held. She's not even happy if I get down there and play with her. She starts screaming bloody murder. And, of course, it doesn't work for Tommy. She laughs and smiles at him as long as I hold her but once I hand her over, she screams. Do you think she's starting to get separation anxiety? She won't even nap without me holding her and she's started waking up at night. Our 83 yo neighbor who's hard of hearing even told me yesterday that she could hear Olivia screaming and she wanted to know why. __________________ No man ever reached excellence in any one art or profession without having passed through the slow and painful process of study and preparation. - Horace

05-23-2008, 06:24 PM	#817 (permalink)
nikkipigtails Golden Moray Join Date: Jan 2008 Posts: 2,985 View Gallery Karma Komment	Re: OT: Women of RS Thread Everyone says she has me trained or thinks that I run to her the second she starts to cry. The truth is, I know the difference between her fake cry and a real one and I don't pick her up unless it's a real one. It's been all real ones lately. She literally screams and tears start streaming down her face as soon as I put her down. She's always been extremely clingy to people in general now she's singled me out. It's about the time for her to go through separation anxiety I just didn't think it would be this bad. You guys made me feel guilty for not having recent pics so I took some. At least I deleted the ones where she's screaming so when I'm old and look back at her pictures, I will only see her happy. __________________ No man ever reached excellence in any one art or profession without having passed through the slow and painful process of study and preparation. - Horace

05-23-2008, 06:54 PM	#818 (permalink)
rlcline76 Manta Ray Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 3,365 View Gallery Karma Komment	Re: OT: Women of RS Thread Nikki, if you can handle all that without pulling out your hair...GREAT! I was never that person. I picked my kids up, but once it started getting on my nerves, real tears or not, I never felt bad about putting them in the crib and stepping out to the patio for a cup of coffee.

05-23-2008, 07:03 PM	#819 (permalink)
nikkipigtails Golden Moray Join Date: Jan 2008 Posts: 2,985 View Gallery Karma Komment	Re: OT: Women of RS Thread My patience grew exponentially when Olivia was born. Obviously I have more patience some days than others...right now though she's wearing a onezie that says "Pacify Me". __________________ No man ever reached excellence in any one art or profession without having passed through the slow and painful process of study and preparation. - Horace

05-23-2008, 10:57 PM	#820 (permalink)
BarbMazz Madame Klanganator Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Near Cleveland, Ohio Posts: 3,357 View Gallery Karma Komment Add yours!	Re: OT: Women of RS Thread Nikki, my twins never had a separation anxiety thing probably because they had each other. Sometimes I felt left out because they were so fascinated with one another. Andrea, however, was the WORST! She would not stay with anyone but ME until she was about 3 and starting preschool. That included the holding thing that you describe. And not wanting to stay even with John. My theory: she really needed me! So I indulged that because I wanted her to feel secure. Like you, the difference in cries is what did it for me. You can tell the "real" one! Some things I think are important; your baby feeling secure is one of them! I don't buy into that teaching them to be separate when they're just infants. They can learn that gradually as they get older; when Andrea was 3 I could reason with her a bit. She cried when she went to preschool, but was able to get it under control within a week, probably because she was old enough to begin figuring it out for herself. How can an infant do that? I don't think they can! I think some babies, for whatever reason, need that extra reassurance of mom close by for longer than others. I don't think it's a baby training you, or that she will be "spoiled", I think she probably needs you now for some undefined reason. I think you're right to hold her when she cries so. That's my .02. Andrea doesn't need me to hold her anymore lol. She's pretty darn independent! I think I did something right along the way. I know it's VERY HARD sometimes when they are so clingy. I thought I'd go nuts, and I had a few anxiety attacks! I had to give up racquetball, which I loced! I was a tournament level player, so that was hard. She had to come first, though, so I did what needed to be done until she felt secure with herself. In hindsight it was worth every second because I helped her be okay with herself by being close to her. So I'd suggest you go with your gut and try to ignore it when people tell you to let her cry. You'll know when it's time to help her become more independent, and she may even do that all on her own. Hang in there! __________________ A Snail's Pace Beginning: an old lady's first reef http://www.reefsanctuary.com/forums/...tml#post366161 ~not knowing how near the truth is we seek it far away~

05-23-2008, 11:24 PM	#821 (permalink)
rlcline76 Manta Ray Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 3,365 View Gallery Karma Komment	Re: OT: Women of RS Thread No, I didn't teach my kids to be seperate when they were infants, but I did (and still do) expect them to try and put themselves down for bed. And especially in those days (which are about to come again) when my husband was away and it was just me, if I got to the point where I thought I was going to lose it, the kid was always better off in the crib. Those were usually the times when the kid was usually overtired or teething. I'm sorry, we have way too many overwhelmed parents around me, doesn't work out well for the kids. That will be going on with me and my kids. My kids do not suffer from detachment issues. Anyone who has ever had to talk to me on the phone has a pretty good idea that I seem to have a shadow or two. I've known people who have indulged 24/7 in the things Nikki has done. Really depends on the parent and the baby. Like I said, if you have the time and patience, enjoy Olivia while she is little like she is. And like Barb said, don't mess with what everyone else has to say. You gotta do what you gotta do.

05-23-2008, 11:46 PM	#822 (permalink)
BarbMazz Madame Klanganator Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Near Cleveland, Ohio Posts: 3,357 View Gallery Karma Komment Add yours!	Re: OT: Women of RS Thread Yep, Becky, each one is different.. that's why it's a good thing to follow your own guts. __________________ A Snail's Pace Beginning: an old lady's first reef http://www.reefsanctuary.com/forums/...tml#post366161 ~not knowing how near the truth is we seek it far away~

05-24-2008, 12:27 AM	#825 (permalink)
rlcline76 Manta Ray Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 3,365 View Gallery Karma Komment	Re: OT: Women of RS Thread No worries Barb! There are plenty of wrong way to go about parenting...the right part is the hit or miss. WHAT I REALLY HATE are parenting books. I think I looked at those for the first year, and then realized that we don't all have textbook kids. You get a lot of that same advice from others. On a somewhat good note...I've been working on my 4 yr old's reading skills. I picked up the kindergarten sight words from my brother, since he has a little one. The words he has trouble with I have him write, helps with his memory. I was a librarian in my former life, so we have plenty of books here. My kid is signed up for the summer reading program on Post again this year. I could sure use a beer. lol

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