| UPDATE
loud noises eminating from the vicinity of the basement hallway, have the dog, and the girlfriend on high alert. The girlfriend states that she heard someone stomping up the stairs. She grabbed Tyler by the collar and calls out "Hello???" to anyone who might be hiding yet dumb enough to answer.
(We live in a two family flat in St louis. The upstairs apartment is currently vacant while the landlord who is good friend of mine, renevates. The squirrel's original discovery, and the suspicious noises took place/ are coming from a stairwell that allows upstairs tennants access to the basement w/o going outside.) Our apartment is in a safe neighborhood in the city, but I've heard of people breaking in not too far from where we live, so I grab the gun, and the dog, and begin to investigate. Suddenly, my opponent turns the corner, sees me, and races off...but this time, the doors are firmly shut. Escape is impossible for something w/o opposable thumbs. Thinking quickly, I grab the dog, notify the girlfriend that it's back, and put the gun down. Rocio lets out a squeek, and slams the door shut, trapping me with the Satan squirrel. Now, I'm cussing, holding the dog, and trying not step on or kick the gun. The Three Stooges tripping on acid couldnt have come up with this.
I get the dog and the gun downstairs, and back in the house w/ the Rocio, and grab the net. Properly armed, I advance on my opponent with steely resolve. There's only one way this is gonna end. The squirrel is perched back up on the same window sill it was disovered on, making those "C'mere" kinda moves you see in Kung fu flicks on cable @ 4 am....I'm not frightened, Its Go Time!
Slow motion...I make a quick feint w/ my left hand, causing the Squirrel to move right to evade, my net swoops down swiftly from the right, trapping it helplessly. The Rubbermaid beckons....
Lid off, Squirrel scooped in, lid shut.......VICTORY!!!
I call out to Rocio to tell her that I've got it, she pops out like a startled Jack-in-the-box, and immediately askes if she can help me........................ "No thanks Honey, I think I can handle it from here"....(I swear this really happened....I couldnt believe it)
Vicious beast captured in the trusty rubbermaid, I escorted him outside, across the street, and banished him. The squirrel, realizing that he was defeated, raced off to seek safer, less defended locations for a possible base of operations.
Naturally now that the conflict was over, Rocio wanted to celebrate. So we took Tyler to go get pictures w/ Santa @ Petsmart.........sigh.....what a reward.....at least he got a stuffed squirrel chew toy as reward for valour in battle and suffering the indignity of being photographed w/ a fat man in a red polyester suit clinging to him like he was the last jelly doughnut on earth.
I swear this has been a surreal day. I'm wondering if someone slipped some ecstacy in my coffee last night. Saddam, squirrels and Santa.....theres an unholy trinity if I've ever seen one.
Nick |